I'm sorry i have been unable to communicate the past few days, Nat has a systemic infection and i have been in and out of the hospital. I hope all is well with all of you.

Hi Mike,

I'm sorry, I think I failed to mention that we are Canadian citizens. I looked up the PAP program as you suggested and to qualify you must be an American citizen. We have various programs here in Canada that offer limited coverage to those who fall bellow the poverty line. Although we are very grateful to live in a peace loving, democratic country, our family doesn't fall within the poverty line. I appreciate your advice and I thank you for directing us to a potential resource. Thank you , again

Natasha Reid

At a time where cancer is so prevalent, the need for support is so great. My wife was diagnosed with non-hodgkin's lymphoma 10 years ago. She endured many types of treatment and we were blessed when she was in remission. This past spring, Natalie was diagnosed with terminal B CEL, extensive, high grade, stage four non-Hodgkin's lymphoma. Having exposure to this debilitating disease has given us the opportunity to provide support, information, doctor referrals and some experimental treatment information options if you have the resources. From all of this needless suffering, we can build a family and offer some comfort to those dealing with this disease. If nothing more, we can pray together!

Sincerely, Natasha Reid

I was brushing Nat's hair and she asked me what was on my mind... I told her I made an appeal for help on a web site. She asked me to read her some of the stories, and after having done so, instead of sleeping, all i can hear is my wife's outrage!

I love my wife, she is sure one in a million. After injecting and running her iv meds, frequently moaning from the pain of shifting her body, she requests of me, " darling, you must clarify what your true need is and please honey, be helpful..."

So, here goes...I thought I could slip into bed ignoring my conscience and filing my wife's request under the " when i have time, pile". No sleeping for me, not till i am more clear about what my need is.

Firstly, we are very fortunate, we did have a house to sell, so we were never homeless. As a result of the sale we moved into a rental, we sold our car, but we live in a city where i can take the public transit to work. I have a job, i work as a temp for Canada Post although we don't have benefits the money i do make does cover rent and basic needs. My wife insists that if its ever too much financially, emotionally or physically she will willingly and without judgement go into palliative care at the hospital. Our doctor somehow always seems to find a way to give us samples of meds, a delivery of medical supplies is always delivered anonymously to our door... Our oldest son who is 18 has given up many of his free hours to sit and read to his mother, cooks supper and stays with her 2 days a week while i work. Our rabbit, Lollaloop always has clean fresh litter and food- provided by Paradise Pets free of charge weekly. Our children have never been hungry, homeless or unable to access quality health care. My wife saw our oldest son graduate from high school and we helped her dance with him at the celebration. My wife's parents would die for my wife if it meant they could ease her suffering. Our church collected $410.00 just because!

My point is, i didn't mean to be so selfish. Natalie is right, there are so many of you that have so little and money is always useful and can ease so much discomfort. But there are so many that need more than we do.

Clarify my need...I sometimes want to vent, i want someone to cry with, i want my wife's suffering to end, i want to be holding her when she passes, i want to know that its ok to be angry sometimes, i want to know that when my wife passes i will no regrets, i want to know why someone so innately good suffers so much, i want our children to remember their mother and all the great things she did with them, i want to remember Natalie as a wife and not my wife with cancer... can i be clearer, probably but im just mired in this guilt for having asked for help when its clear that there are more deserving than us.

Off to bed now, feeling a little lighter. Help can come in many forms, if I can be of any help dont hesitate to ask.

You mentioned that you have a need for personal and house hold items. We have items that could be of use to you, if you can be more specific, we may be able to help.

Thank you for your reply, I will visit their site and let you know the outcome. Thank you for taking time out of your busy life to provide us with this contact. Thank you, again.

Sincerely,

Natasha

I am unsure if you might require house hold donations. We have extra blankets, clothes, shoes etc. If this would be helpful, let us know. I apologize that this is the only help we can provide.

Our family will pray that you receive the help you require. I apologize that this all we can give.

Out of desperation and with no dignity left, i am appealing for help. My wife, Natalie, was diagnosed with non-hodgkin's lymphoma early last spring, after being in remission for almost seven years. Unfortunately this bought with cancer is terminal. I promised Natalie that she would die at home when the time came. I leave my wife alone everyday i go to work. I need to work as I have exhausted all our financial resources and simply have no choice, regardless of how cruel leaving her is. Caring for my wife at home is expensive and beyond any of my resources. We don't qualify for medical benefits as my wife had a previous pre-existing condition. Welfare is not an option unless we are willing to be deceptive. If you had the pleasure of meeting my wife you would know that she is regarded as an honest, generous and caring woman. I would like to take care of my wife and have her die at home in my arms surrounded by her children and bunny, Lollaloop. I'm failing miserably, i don't know what else to do but beg for help. We are proud people, who no longer have the luxury of pride or dignity. If you can help and you may have advice on how to gain help, i would be greatly in you debt. I have sold everything of any value, however i do have a piece of wood that someone may find valuable. When my wife was diagnosed with cancer the first time, her father in-law was cutting down a tree nub and on the face of this nub is the image of what appears to be an angel or the virgin Mary. We've kept it all this time its really the only thing i can think of that someone might find valuable.

I am willing to provide financial records, medical records and references to provide proof of our dire situation.

If you take anything from our story, i plead with you to lobby our government to develop and implement programs to help those families who don't qualify or refuse to deceive the government to access welfare and other government agencies providing desperately needed medical care and medications.

Thank you,

Natasha Reid